Published by
Luna under
the real life on
June 10, 2009
We make judgements all the time. Mostly with negative connotations. It is somewhat of an autamatic process in the sense that it requires conscious attention in order to be controlled or inhibited.
When it comes to judging people around us, a general rule can be synthesized:
A person you cannot feel emmpathy for or perceive as equal to yourself automatically becomes subject to your condemnation.
Sadly, we rarely care about how accurate our judgement is. Truth is, we seldom have even the slightest idea of the true facts or situation this person is in, except for the obvious cases, of course.
It is easier; much easier to put a label on someone than take the time to find out what the actual situation is. Hate is a safer bet. A rule of thumb; a shortcut to making sense of the world around you.
Be it by means of offensive names, exaggerated facts, prejudice or stereotypes in action, the judgement is dispensed without a second thought. Also, it rarely crosses the judge’s mind that when in the judged person’s situation they themselves often exhibit the exact same behaviour. All this, however, is rarely - if ever - taken into account.
Regardless of the extent to which this thing/person/phenomenon disturbs you, you can rearely contain your criticism and let it pass you.Why just let it go unnoticed? By giving it meaning, you give it power - the power to annoy and disturb you.
Published by
Luna under
songs about jane on
May 7, 2009
i must really love this. because i do it every time. there really isn’t any other plausible explanation.
there is enough physical time to do everything that needs to be done. people run around, playing the ‘i don’t have time’ record over and over, but that is more of a categorisation of what they want and don’t want to have time for, rather than a statement of fact.
i am one of those people. i have enough time for everything. the only thing that’s equal among human beings is the amount of physical hours we have. the day is 24 hours long for everyone, and there is no backing out of this argument. in this sense, saying ‘i don’t have enough time’ would sound something like ‘i don’t have enough gravity’..
so why is it that we hear this ridiculous statement so often? and more importantly, why does it fly with everyone? because if someone tells you they don’t have time for something and you insist on the opposite they will argue and eventually get angry.. of course - i mean, who are you to know exactly how busy they are?! truth is they know perfectly well they have the time. we all know the truth has a way of infuriating people, especially when it isn’t convenient. and so you’ve learned not to argue this point.
what people mean when they say - or even try to convince themselves - they don’t have the time, is that they don’t want to have the time for this. you see, the things we have to do are invariably more than the things we like or want to do.
what i do is a little different. i would more often be heard saying ‘there is enough time for this’. this translates into ‘i will do this later. indefinitely later. in fact i will put it off until it is absolutely imperative that i do it.’
why? adrenaline. there is a high you get from doing things last second.. and them working out. of course, certain skill and practice are required. i come from a family that does things last second so i’ve had my share of training in this craft. oh, it is a craft. everyone can leave things till the last minute, but not everyone can pull it off..
there are two sides to this bad habit. the obvious side is putting off doing unpleasant things or things that you are simply not bothered to do right now.
the more subtle side to this is the temptation to test your limits. see, there is always a system in place. and the system says ‘you have to do this and that, by this and this time and here is how to do it’. someone is always setting invisible parameters for your actions. the things is.. when i feel like doing something i will do it regardless of whether it fits into someone’s imaginary timetable or rule book. so the system says you have to do things its way in order to make it in time and to make it at all. now you probably see how doing things last minute gives you the chance to screw the system. a chance so longed for.. at least for me.
so what if you do things your way and still make it on time? and you do it well to top that? well that would mean that your life is just a fraction less governed my the system than everyone else’s.
it is stessful, no argument there. but the pleasure from revoking the system is immeasurable. it isn’t about being stubborn or reckless or merely stupid. it is about living the way you want, doing what you feel like doing and still fitting in the framework that the civilized world operates with.
the most recent testament to this little deviation of mine was when i left uni for the spring break 3 days early to spend 3 more days at home. i had a test on the 17th and term officially ended on the 20th. i also had a coursework due on the 20th that i hadn’t written a single paragraph for. i booked a plane ticket for the 17th in the afternoon. i walked out of the exam, went to another lecture, went to my room, grabbed my suitcase and headed for the airport. naturally, some preparations had taken place earlier. i wanted to go home and no stupid schedule was going to stop me. i didn’t start writing up my coursework until thursday (19th). i was near the end on firday when a friend called and we arranged to meet for coffee. lab reports can be tricky, so it took me longer to finish up and she eneded up waiting for me.. what did silly me do? i didn’t even read through the coursework before sending it (bless the online course submission system) because i was late for coffee with my friend 
i honestly couldn’t care less - i was home with my friends and family and all i aimed for with this coursework was a pass mark. when i got back to uni and the department secretary was handing me back my marked report all i was thinking was ‘oh just please give it to me and let the disappointment be over quickly’. i peeked down at the little mark scribbled in black in the top right corner of the coversheet. i stared at the secretary. she smiled. i was confused and started stuttering - ‘t-this is nn-ot my paper.’ she smiled and calmly pointed out the registration number on my card matched the one on the coversheet. she continued smiling and said ‘this i a very good grade. well done.‘ i was deep in shock and all i could babble out was ‘th-thank you. s-so much.’
it was the best piece of coursework i had written so far. i had never hoped for such a grade this year. and this.. for something i had written halfheartedly, in a rush, not giving a damn, and that i hadn’t even bothered to edit or read through before sending beacuse i was late for a coffee date?.. oh, the system was beaten, laying in the mud, stamped under my victorious feet. it was the sweetest feeling. i walked around all day smiling like an idiot. when i come to think of it now, maybe the coursework turned out so good because i was at home, happy and feeling at ease. because i had dared challenge the system and steal 3 days for myself.
yes.. it’s addictive. beacause no matter what you’ve risked, when you make it, and on time too, no one can say a word to you. the only relevant fact is that you made it - on your own terms. and this feeling in particular is what you get addicted to.
Published by
Luna under
songs about jane on
February 7, 2009
the receptors for coolness and heat in our skin do not detect different temperatures. what they detect is the change in tempereture. and if they are exposed to the same stimulus for a long period of time, they will eventually get used to it and consequently you will stop being aware of it.
it’s like when you dive into a swimming pool - at first you are fully aware of how cold the water is , but eventually it starts feeling normal. adaptation - or habituation - has taken place. the second you get out of the pool you feel cold again - your skin receptors have detected the change.
a similar process seems to go on in terms of human relationships..
you fall in love. all of your senses are intensely stimualted. time passes. of course, habituation occurs much slower in this case.. but it is common - after a good period of six months or so, you sometimes end up losing interest. or getting bored, stop feeling the same way or get caught up in a daunting routine. could that be because being exposed to the same kind of stimulation has somehow rendered your senses numb? could it be that you need a ‘change in temperature’ every once in a while in order to feel the love at all? partially it makes sense..
why does the initial excitement of relationship eventually fade away? getting used to someone and being able to predict their every word and action seems of little excitement to me and being able to put a deadline on how long this wonderful feeling of being in love lasts sounds like bad news for people who believe in true, eternal love..
and the idea of staying together out of habit is just sad.
does it turn out that love isn’t actually enough to sustain itself? naturally, having the same thing for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day will make you sick of it in due time. you wouldn’t even want to eat your favourite ice-cream that often.
so what can you do to avoid your love receptors becoming desenitized? don’t get too comfortable. the only thing that’s constant in this world is CHANGE. the outside temperature changes by the minute, why should the temperature of your heart or emotions stay the same forever? once they’ve found something that feels good, people tend to get comfortable and hope it’ll last forever. truth is, anything that stays in the same state or place dies out. love is not a static feeling. why should its participants be?..
believing that being in love with each other is enough is equal to looking through 10 pairs of pink sunglasses. the image must be kind of blurry?
the recipe for love is a crazy mixture of emotion, hormones, cicumstances and a million other variables. believing otherwise simply means you’re vastly underestimating it..
being as complicated an endeavour, one would ask why even bother with this madness? apparently, it seems to be worth it..