by their toilet you shall know them
Saturday, October 17th, 2009 | songs about jane | No Comments
If you’re looking for a tip on how to recognize a good restaurand, bar, pub, coffee shop or any place of that sort, here’s a rule of thumb for you. And I’m pretty sure there are no exceptions to it.
My grandmother likes to say: ‘Whatever is in someone’s underwear is also on their face.’
Check the place’s toilet facility. The state of the toilet directly reflects the kind of people that run the place, hold a job there or visit it regularly. It is only logical that if you’re a decent, responsible, clean person your toilet would not be disgusting or unsupplied. Serious people simply do no compromise their hygiene.
There is this coffee shop in my neighborhood back home that I really liked. Still I can’t remember a time when there was toilet roll in the toilet, the paper bins weren’t overflowing, the toilet seats weren’t dirty, there was soap or paper towels or the hand dryer worked. I told this to the waitresses on multiple occasions but they weren’t touched in the slightest. I don’t know about you, but it would at least make me a bit uncomfortable if someone told me my toilet was in such a poor state. They couldn’t care less.
This never changed but I kept going to that place anyway for the good food and the delicious cappucino. But eventually it got to the point where I couldn’t close my eyes to how disgusting the toilets were, so I recently stopped going there. If that sort of thing does not begin to bother you, you are one inch away from being one of the people who make it disgusting in the first place. You’re either part of the problem or part of the solution. And if you can’t improve the situation removing yourself from it is the only solution left.
To contrast this, the department buildings in the university I go to are an endless interconnected maze of lecture halls, classrooms, labs, offices, etc. There must be at least a couple dozen toilets throughout the teaching premises only. And yet every one of them is meticoulsly cleaned and adequately supplied with toilet roll, soap, paper towels or a working hand dryer. Now what does that tell you about my university?
So ultimately my grandmother’s saying is spot on. The ‘underwear’ of a place infallibly speaks of what the ‘faces’ of the people who run it look like. And the standard they hold for their business is invariably the one they hold for themselves; which begs the question: if they are ok with a disgusting toilet, what might their moral and ethical standards be? And if the restaurant’s toilet is disgusting, what might the kitchen where your food is prepared look like?
Think about that next time your favourite place is short on toilet roll.
gracious power
Friday, October 9th, 2009 | songs about jane | No Comments
People differ in the way they handle the power they’ve been trusted with. I say ‘trusted with’ because we trust on people to be fair and honest and employ power in service of the many who put them in that position to begin with.
There is a false belief that one gains people’s respect with the amount of power they have. But it is rather the way we treat people and deal with affairs from our position of power that wins us the respect of others.
Take the school headmaster for instance. What if instead of yelling, telling you off for misbehaviour and giving you an adequate punishment, he sat down and listened to what you had to say? What if he was not so quick to believe the teachers and disregard your explanation? Would you then think twice before refering to him as tiranic or stern or injust? Would you maybe even observe the rules more willingly from that moment on?
It hardly matters how much power was bestowed to you. It is by using it in a gracious manner that you make your way into people’s hearts and justify it. And if you do, you would be treated as more powerful than anyone that society placed in a superior position of power. Because power actually consists of people’s trust in you. Those who abuse people’s trust don’t get to enjoy their power for long.
invisible ties
Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009 | songs about jane | No Comments
somehow no matter how much proof we encounter of the existence of invisible things, we always go out of our way to fit them into a physical dimension. it’s true that everything made by humans started out as a thought; or a feeling. but still.. isn’t materializing the untouchable a lost cause?
take marriage for instance. nothing more beautiful than two people vowing their love for one another. so far so good. but what is it with signing a paper at city hall? yes, there is that messy story with property and divorce and all. but isn’t it more the need to have it down on paper? you are mine and i am yours - see? i have it on paper.
you’d think that would cement a feeling that was already strong enough. at least that is what most people seem to think. that there’s nowhere to go now. but there is.
i think it is rather the other way round. the invisible ties are stronger than actual chains. maybe they will stay phisically. but they won’t be there in the mind; or in the heart. ironically, you would only have them on paper. a person is more likely to stay when they know they are free to go. when they know it’s up to them; when they won’t be loosing anything - be it property or their dignity - if they decide to leave. it’s also healthier that way. maybe it is only when you give up the idea of owning something that you truly get to keep it.. or enjoy its company at least.
this looks insultingly obvious. but we’re blind to it half the time.
and maybe is not someone staying with you so much as returning to you. they may go every day. they should go somewhere every day. but so long as they return to you continuously by choice… you know you have it right.
